6 Beard products Men don't need

Since the dawn of man, there was the beard. Somewhere down the line, beards went through various shapes and sizes (literally), they went through different era's and stood for various statements, some religious, some philosophical, some intelligence. So it was only a matter of time before fashion joined the list. In recent times, the hipster beard is somewhat a trend, fad or fashion - now I personally think its silly and downright fucked up to treat the beard as a 'fad', but since it fell in the fashion category, numerous companies came up with uber-shitty products for naive young guys to try out so they can start keeping a beard. 

Now I'm not talking about beard oils, balms, wax etc. Those are actually good. I'm talking about the ones which coerce guys into spending their well earned money on products that are bogus, not needed and simply don't work. So here's a list of what I personally think the world of beards can live without. 

Beard Bibs

This disastrous monstrosity came with a AED 70/- price tag. I mean seriously?! I get that hair follicles find their way onto the bathroom floor or sink but do you really need to spend this much to make sure you collect your trimmed hair? You can do the same using any piece of cloth and lay it down or even a piece of cardboard. Moreover, the effort of sticking it onto the mirror & around your neck limits (and annoys) moving your head while trimming. Be a man and clean up after your mess if you need to or better yet, visit the local barber for a much better trim, it'll be more worth it. Lastly, even if you have a so-called 'beard bib' where do you intend to dust it off without it falling around?

Beard Shaper

Any product which claims to help you create the right shape by sticking it onto your face and trimming around is basically missing the point. I mean sure, of course you want your mane to look perfectly crafted, neat and awesome, but thats what barbers are for, who do it freehand. When you’re holding something up to your face that looks like it’s from a Spirograph kit, or stolen off an architect’s drafting table, you’ve lost the point. And it shouldn’t cost AED 89/-

Beard Pin

Who ever thought that a Mans beard needs to have jewelry to look good simply didn't understand the concept of growing a beard. There are plenty of beard styles out there for you to shape and try, the goatee, the full blown mountaineer, the french cut, the pirate and so many more, having to stick a pin in the middle (which'll probably get lost in the beard leaving it invisible) is just plain silly. You don't need it. Shape the beard and show off your style without sticking jewelry in it. If you really want to include accessories then grow a bigger beard and use a viking still metal tie, now that would be bad ass! 

Beard Muffler

Why? also, that's a woman. 

Beard Growth Formula

So the sound of this makes it feels like its Viagra for the face. I mean, I understand that some dudes struggle with patchy beards and slow growth due to genetics but if we're going to be proud of our manes then at-least let it grow naturally. These products tie into the whole non-natural concept of manliness. Imagine if you're one of those steroid popping kinda guys, then there's not much to be proud of. If you're looking for fast results then STOP READING THIS BLOG! I strongly suggest sticking with natural beard balms and oils that help in moisturizing the skin beneath and maintain facial hair, thats more than good enough. On the later side, eat healthy and workout and give your mane time to grow. 

Stach' Guard

The Stache guard. I like to drink. I enjoy a good whisky. If its summer, crack open a cold one. I never felt the need to have a stache guard. I mean yes, my stache gets wet every time I'm sipping a drink out of a glass, but it doesn't stream down my face, unless I force more drink than I can handle. I sip and enjoy. Worst case, after having milk, i simply wipe it off. This is a nice lil' novelty but doesn't really serve its purpose well. If you really need one, try finding the original source of this product, a natural tea cup/mug with a ceramic stopper built in. These were used in the early days for the same purpose, easy to store and wash too. 


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